Number 50...

Yes, this is my 50th post.

Part of the joy in moving (even beyond the joy of flying to move) is hooking up utilities. It's funny to think than a "utility" in our day and age may find itself in the form of high speed Internet - especially so when your wife needs it to make her wages. All to say, I was using a third part vendor to purchase Comcast High Speed Internet today and decided to utilize the "live chat," which would more properly be entitled "live shat," as you well see.

Also, as your reading, know that there was a lot of laughter on my end while writing with "Carolina," - i.e., if I sound frustrated, for once I'm actually not.

I am, however, frustrated at the fact that when I checked the third party website and Comcast's website, I was assured that Comcast serviced my area. When I called Comcast, they told me that they don't.

My response "That's strange, because your website says that you do."
"I'm sorry sir, you purchased this through a third party's website and we can't guarantee the information they provide."
"I understand that, but I'm talking about your website - I looked it up at comcast.com."
"Oh, well...we don't have service for that area, I'm sorry."

So, now I search for a high speed provider. Enjoy the following:

Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Carolina'
you: Carolina, how long would it take for someone to come out and hook up our high speed Internet service?
Carolina: Hello.
Carolina: Welcome. How can I help you today?
Carolina: Let me go ahead and check the promotion that is available for you in your area. May I have the address and zip code where the installation will take place?
you: 1427 S Chadwick St, 19146
Carolina: I just need to gather some information. First, are you a current Comcast Cable TV customer?
you: No.
Carolina: I'm sorry for the delay. I'll be right with you.
you: ok.
Carolina: I will be right with you.
you: Alright...
Carolina: Comcast
Carolina: High-Speed Internet $33 per month for 6 months
Carolina: Get Comcast High-Speed Internet for $33 per month for 6 months!
Carolina:
Carolina: High-Speed Internet
Carolina: Order today and also get (after mail-in rebate):
Carolina: Get a FREE Motorola ® Cable Modem
Carolina: $100 High-Speed Internet Cash Back
Carolina:
Carolina: This is the plan that I can offer you
you: Well. That's great, but that's not what I asked Carolina.
you: Do you know what I asked?
you: Am I "chatting" with an authentically live person?
Carolina: after we are done with this order, you will need to contact customer service to schedule installation.
Carolina: Let’s go ahead and get you started so you can start enjoying the benefits of high speed internet today! Completing the order with me in this chat will ensure your order be placed accurately, and will actually allow for an easier installation process. Once I complete your order I will give you the instructions to make sure you obtain all the promotions available to you today. May I have your first and last name?
Carolina: Install Phone Number
Carolina: Daytime Contact Phone Number
Carolina: E-mail Address
you: Well, thanks. It took me as long to find it on our website as it did for you to answer my question.
you: I'm already ordering it on your website. Thanks anyways!
Carolina: I can go ahead and complete your order through this chat window. Completing the order with me in this chat will ensure that your order be placed accurately. Once we complete the order I will give you the instructions to make sure you obtain all of the promotions available to you today.
Carolina: ‘I can sign you up, so we can track rebates
you: Are you telling me that I can be sure that my order will be placed accurately on your website?
Carolina: Yes
you: Or rather...can't be sure?
Carolina: We can also track the rebates as well
Carolina: If you sign up on your own we will not have a record of your order confirmation
you: What's the difference between me ordering this from you now and ordering it over your website?
you: So you won't send me an order confirmation over your website?
you: This is bizarre...
Carolina: Yes, you will still receive one but if you ever need the rebates or any information from your order we can track it down through a history chat
you: So you're telling me that this service is unlike the modern technology used by other businesses and that the only way I will be able to ensure that my order is taken and that my rebate has been sent is by ordering through you...right now?
Carolina: NO, you will still be able to get your rebates and your order, but if you ever need to retrieve your actual order we can do it through a history chat
you: Why would I need to retrieve my actual order through history chat? Won't my receipt verify my order?
Carolina: Because most of customers always come back to retrieve dates to fill out the rebate forms and also get the rebates forms again because they lose them or misplace them
Carolina: I can place an online order for you. It's secure and very simple. That way I can make sure that all the information needed to get your order placed is correct, so there are no delays! It takes just a couple of minutes and all information is secure.
you: Wouldn't it be more secure if I didn't share my credit card information? Won't my receipts verify dates? I don't understand why this is a problem for "most of customers." Can you ensure that I am not giving you incorrect information?
Carolina: All I will need from you today to secure this online only promotion is your First and Last Name, Telephone Number and E-mail Address, no payment information is required to get started.
you: While I appreciate the offer, Carolina, I did state earlier that I've already started placing my order through your website...
Carolina: Placing your order with me will also allow for an easier installation process
you: What? That's absurd! How can you make it easier just by having me place the order through you?
Carolina: Thank you for waiting. I'll be with you in just a moment.
Carolina: Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: what about my last question?
Carolina: Because I will provide you with the steps to setup installation
you: Whoa now...you're telling me that I don't get the steps to setup installation unless I order through you???!!!
Carolina: Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: what about my last question?
Carolina: Please call 1-877-220-3549 for any further questions
Carolina: Is there anything else I can help you with?
you: Wait. Why are you asking if there is anything else you can help me with when you just gave a toll free number to call for "further questions?" Is there no sincerity in the processes for business anymore?
Carolina: I will be right with you.
Carolina: I'm sorry for the delay. I'll be right with you.
Carolina: Thank you for waiting. I'll be with you in just a moment.
Carolina: I will be right with you.
you: Tell me lies tell me sweet little lies.
Carolina: Thank you for visiting Comcastoffers.com and allowing me to assist you. Have a great day!
Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.